Hey new fics time! Sorry for the weird title xD
“Sorry for hiding this all the times.” A man with black suit says in front of the media who come today. There are so many medias coming.
They take so many pictures of the two figures who sit in front of them. They look so enthusiast, why not? Today, there should be an information announced by those two figures who are now becoming top in Japan. Everything relates to them would be trend topic in Japan.
That’s why the media look so enthusiast about this event and it is aired live in one tv station.
You who sit beside him just gives the media pretty smile while taking your photos. White dress that you wear look suit you so well. Your make up just too natural and seriously you look so beautiful.
“Nakamura-san, is that true you two are dating?” one of the media ask after given an opportunity.
“2 months ago. We are really sorry, we covered it. We didn’t mean bad. It was just Atsuko still in AKB48 which has that ‘Renai Kinshi Jourei’. So we think we should wait for good timing to reveal it.”
“Maeda-san, the reason you graduate from AKB48 was to date Nakamura-san?”
“No. I had this thought from long time ago when AKB48 celebrated 6 years anniversary. I think I should be more concentrate with my career since it was my dream to become an actress.” she adds. The medias are busy to write her statements to their notes.
“Do the members of AKB48 know you are dating?”
“Yes, just some of them not all.”
“How did they react after knowing it?”
“They supported me of course. We have been family for 6 years and we have very strong bonds. That’s why we want to support each other.”
“According to the rumor you two will marry in this short time?”
“Marry??” the man sounds little bit surprised with that question. “Hmm…. I can’t say it yet. Every couple must think about this, getting married, having children, and living happily. That is also my dreams and I hope it would be Acchan who will gonna be my wife.” He answers as he scratches his back head. “….and also Acchan is only 20. We both are still young, so we still not think about marriage yet.”
The medias keep asking some questions to them and taking some pictures again.
I keep staring at television as I can’t blink even once. I can’t believe the situation becomes like this. She looks so happy. I think her smile just now was only for me back then, but it’s not anymore. She is with another guy. She’s his girl right now.
Atsuko…..does it make you happy? I am seriously asking this. If you did this because you were mad at me, I am really sorry. I know I am slow, I never show you that I care, it is me who should be blamed… but please if you are just playing around, please stop it. I will kneel down if you want me to. I will bow many times to get your forgiveness. Just please don’t punish me like this. I am hurt. My heart hurts seeing you with him, moreover you announce that you two are dating and people know it all.
Atsuko…..it’s really hurt. Seriously it’s hurt. I feel like dying in ICU, waiting for ‘shinigami’ to take my soul away. I want to scream louder but I have to hold it. My tears are falling instead, expressing how deep I am hurt right now. The girl I love the most is with another guy.
Going to miss your presence, going to miss your voice, going to miss your laugh, smile, and your touch. Every touch of you means a lot to me. But now….it’s impossible to have you beside me again. I know everything is late.
2 months ago
AKB48 will hold an event in Tokyo. Thousands fans are coming to the event, the biggest amount of fans ever that come to handshake event. This event will be featuring SKE48 and NMB48. They will perform some songs including their new singles on the stage.
“You hung out with Milky?” Miichan asks me in a surprise tone. Now we are waiting for SKE48 and NMB48 finish performing.
“She wanna learn some movements so she asked me out.”
“Really? But I think Milky has feeling to you.”
“Eh? Masaka….. We are just friends. I am impressed with her skill. She learns so fast.”
“You left Acchan yesterday, remember?”
I look away and sigh… “I know Miichan. But I think she understood.”
“How could you know? You always prefer the others rather than her. How can you be so sure she is not mad at you?”
“We are in the middle of hard time Miichan. Akip trusts me as AKB leader so I should show that I am the one. I can’t face Akip if we fail.”
“I know, leader. But I think it’s not wrong if you two spend time together. Acchan looked so down since yesterday. And I am sure it’s because of you.”
“Eh? Why me? What have I done?”
Miichan facepalm. “Forget it, short leader. My advice, you have to talk with her after this. Serious one. Tell her you don’t have any special relationship with Milky.”
“Although I don’t understand, but I will talk to her later.”
“Good, leader. I hope it won’t be late.” Miichan gets up and walks away.
I still can’t understand what Miichan told me to. Late? Late what? Atsuko is my best friend. I understand her, and she understands me in return. That is what it should be.
We have already performed, now time to close the event.
Atsuko takes the MC’s role. On the script, there’s no MC-ing in the last part and everybody is confusing about what Atsuko is doing.
“I, Maeda Atsuko, today announces graduate from AKB48.”
Shock. Surprise. Frozen. Can’t move, even my eyes can’t blink.. Oi, is it true? It’s a joke right? It’s not even april mop, so another Atsuko’s prank? Prank? Really? I am busy to calm down myself about what just I heard.
Members start whispering. Looks like they can’t believe what was just said by Atsuko.
“Oi, oi….Did I hear it right? Nee Acchan?” now Yuko speaks. She looks straightly to Acchan. Acchan just shows her pale smile. She is nodding.
Like lightning hits me. Tear has rolled over my cheek. I try myself to not cry… I face the front all fans especially Atsuko’s show their sad faces. Some of them are calling her name so loud, cheering her up.
Mixing girls and boys voice.
“Maybe It’s surprising you guys, but I have thought about it. I love singing, but the crowded schedule that we have in AKB48 force me to choose and I choose to graduate. I am so close to reach my dreams and I hope you guys will still support me until end. I love you all….” Her statements get good respond from her fans. They are clapping their hands and calling her names for some times.
End of flash back
I still can’t accept her graduation. She didn’t let me know first, at least I know. We are so close to each other though. I was shocked back then. Everyone was. Usually I was the one who gave last statements to the member who announced to graduate but that night, I didn’t. Yuko did. She also closed the event, she took my roles, I thanked her after. She knew I must be so shocked and couldn’t even speak to give some words to Atsuko and then she took over.
I still remembered before entering the stage, Atsuko gave me her usual smile but I could feel it there was something behind it, and I thought I got it when she announced her graduation. Atsuko, I can’t understand you….. You succeed to break my heart, though you really mean a lot to me. I know I am slow, but I realize my feeling to you when you are not around, and I guess it’s too late.
And now I am watching this surprising news again from her. She is dating with her ex partner in her last drama. My tears won’t stop falling as it keeps flowing. The more Atsuko speaks, it keeps flowing like crazy.
A week before that day
“Minami, where are you?” Atsuko calls me.
“At theater, I have to meet Kenkyuusei. What is it?”
“I am at home now, would you come here? I have something to tell…”
“Oh, is it that important?”
“Of course. Seriously important. So, will you come?”
“An hour Atsuko. Can you wait?”
“Yes. I will be waiting.”
I flip down my phone and put it inside my bag. I still have to give the kenkyuusei some words before leaving to Atsuko’s apartment.
When I am ready to leave, Milky appears. She begs me to go with her. She gets confused with something so she needs me to teach her. Because she really needs me, as her senpai I can’t say no. So I apologize to Atsuko coz I can’t come and she said okay.
And yeah…..before the day, Atsuko wanted to meet me but I just broke it once again.
“What’s wrong with your eyes?” Yuko points my eyes and shows me her worried expression.
Since its swollen and it catches everyone’s attention.
“You saw that news yesterday?” Harunyan then adds. I nod.
“Oh god, Takamina…” Yuko then hug me. I hug her back and Yuko’s body is so warm. I feel relax.
“I know you still can’t accept the ace’s graduation yet. Be strong Takamina. AKB48 needs you. If you are always being like this, you will ruin AKB48.” Harunyan says.
“Yeah little captain. Nyan Nyan is right. We need the powerful leader back.” Yuko releases her hug. “I am tired seeing you like this.” She lands a fist on my chest. “Be honest to yourself. Follow your heart, then you won’t regret it.”
“Yuko…..” okay, I am impressed.
“Just tell her already what you feel toward her.”
“Hmm….Eh??” I am little bit surprised as I widen my eyes. Does Yuko notice it?
“I noticed a long time ago, Bakamina!” Yuko smiles. I am still there with my fail expression. “Haha… You are so easy to be guessed.” Yuko then winks.
“Oh….” I look down and my cheek is redden.
“Ma….ma…. You don’t have to be shy. Nobody can blame our feeling. Let it choose, let it develop. All you can do is following it, trusting it as if it leads you for your good.”
“But…. I don’t think I can…..”
“You can! Therefore you are our leader! You are not one if you are weak! You are strong so that akip chose you! If I don’t show what I truly feel to her….” Yuko points Harunyan. “…I don’t know if we can be together right now.”
“Oh really?” I chuckle.
“Yes! This girl rejected me before, but I knew deep in her heart, she loves me too….”
“No!” Harunyan hits Yuko’s shoulder slowly and then she is pouting.
“See? You have to try. At least…” Yuko is rubbing her shoulder though it doesn’t hurt.
I look down as I am thinking about what she told me. I guess, Yuko is right. If I don’t tell her right away what I feel to her, I will feel uneasy, right? Although I will be rejected but at least I have told her.
“I will fully support you Takamina. She might be with that Nakamura boy now, but I don’t think he could make Acchan happy. I could see it, whenever Acchan was with you, her expression was always being so free and so happy. There must be something behind so that Acchan is dating him.” Harunyan adds.
“Really? How could you think about that?” Yuko then asks her lover.
“Acchan always tells me that the one who can make her laugh and smile is only Takamina. She is so happy whenever she’s with you. I couldn’t forget Acchan’s expression whenever she talks about you. She looks so excited and full of spirit. You really mean a lot to her.”
“See Takamina? Isn’t that enough for you to confess?” Yuko then shakes my body.
“Eh?? Co…confess??? I don’t think it’s a good idea….”
“It is! Acchan has already shown you that she has felt something to you! And I know she feels the same like what you feel to her! Come on, captain! Go and get your love!”
“Wait Yuko! Don’t push me for something that is still complicated! How if she will hate me after confessing my love?”
“She won’t! She will feel happy! Just try~”
“I don’t want to sacrifice my long friendship with her because of 3 words~” Yuko keeps pushing me… “Mou….Yuko, stop pushing me.”
“Takamina, you should.” 3 of us then search for this voice, and we see a figure is standing near the door. Crossing her hands in front of chest. Then, she walks closer to us.
“Miichan…..” I say as she stands beside me.
“What Yuko said to you, might be fully right. I will support you if you wanna confess to Acchan.”
“Not even you, Miichan….”
“Or you wanna regret it? Listen. It’s not late yet, you still have chance to get Acchan back. Remember the day when you broke your promise to see her? Probably that day Acchan would tell you about everything, or maybe she also wanted to confess to you…”
“Wait….wait….Miichan, do you know something?” now Harunyan asks Miichan. Yuko then listen to them.
“I don’t know exactly, but I guess Acchan does love you, Takamina. I remember the day when she asked me about romantic dinner and I suggested her candle light, because it would be more romantic. I asked her why she asks but she just blushed herself. Who do you think she prepared that for?” Yuko and Harunyan at the same time look at me.
By 3 couple of eyes are looking at me, I look down. Were that for me? Why I was too baka always breaking our promise? She might be suffering because of me! Arrghhh baka!!
“How is it then, little captain? Would you want to get your love back?” Yuko asks with serious face. Without thinking, I nod. I feel confident about my feeling, the strong feeling that I have for Atsuko. Then I walk out and head to Atsuko’s apartment.
Here I am, in front of the building. Now I must regain my energy to face her. Yosshh…. I can do this! I walk to the lift and there’s somebody going down. It’s opening and I am shocked as I can see Atsuko is there with Nakamura. Does he pass by? It means that, only two of them? DEG. My heart starts beating so fast like crazy while thinking about what they did during the times. No, I must not think like that.
Or….should I? My eyes are widen as I see Nakamura kisses Atsuko right on her lips. They are kissing in passion and seem Atsuko enjoys that. I can’t see that kind of view so that I just look away. I want to cry, but I know I am strong. I am here to confess right? But…..seeing she is kissing right now with Nakamura, it means she doesn’t feel anything to me right? Does she just throw away her feeling toward me? Is there any small pieces left for me? If yes, I can slowly make it full like at first. Nakamura stops the kissing and walks out from the lift. I am in a distance so both of them don’t notice my presence. Atsuko is waving her new boyfriend and going up again.
I prepare myself, prepare my heart and I make decision. Should I meet her? Is it the right thing?
I exhale and I don’t want to disappoint Miichan, Yuko and Harunyan. At least I tell Atsuko what I feel so that I can feel better. After her graduation, we don’t even email each other, I miss her.
I decide to meet her. I am going up and now I am in front of the door. I knock it and I can hear Atsuko’s voice. She is opening the door and looking surprised.
“Hi…” I greet her.
“What are you doing here?” She answers me coldly.
“Visiting old friend. May I?”
“Go home, my boyfriend will come in some minutes.”
Can she make better lie? Does she want to avoid me?
“Wasn’t he just going back? I saw him though….” Atsuko sigh then walks inside and leaves the door open. So I guess, she accepts my visitation. I walk inside and see her sitting on the sofa.
“Ano….Atsuko…. Am I bothering you??”
“Depends. If you are leaving soon, you are not bothering me.”
Atsuko, she changes. She is so cold toward me though 2 months ago she was just the usual Atsuko that I knew. But know, she is someone I don’t know. My heart hurts…. Atsuko, please don’t punish me like this.
“You were mad at me? I am sorry for always breaking our promises, I am sorry Atsuko….”
“Don’t you think it’s already late?! Now go home.” She looks away.
“Please, how should I do? What should I do to get your forgiveness?” she doesn’t answer. Then I walk closer and kneel down. “I am sorry, Atsuko….”
“What are you doing? Get up!” I don’t even hear her. I keep kneeling down. “Minami, I said, get up already!!” she grabs my arms and raises me up.
“Atsuko….why you graduated? You didn’t even tell me…..After that day, you never talk to me. Then yesterday I watched TV about you and him. What are happening? I don’t understand, it’s too complicated.”
“You must ask yourself. I didn’t tell you about my graduation? I would tell you, but it was you who didn’t come. You saw the others were important though I already said that something I wanna tell you were seriously important. Got it clear? Now go home.”
Yappari, it was that day. Seriously I was too baka!!
“Why are you still here? I don’t want to see you again, Minami. I hate you!”
As I heard that statement from her, my tears want to fall. I keep holding it, I think I have prepared my heart for this. I am sobbing, I can’t hold my tears from falling… I cry much and catch her attention.
“Why….why are you crying?!” Atsuko starts sobbing too. “You must not the one who should be crying!! It’s me! You know how much I took those pains from you?!” Atsuko wipes her tears.
“Atsuko, I am sorry, okay?”
“You don’t need to say it now….” Her voice sounds shaking. “….it’s already late now. Just…..just go already….” Atsuko keeps looking at me with her teary eyes while I am crying here also.
“Atsuko please….. I miss you, I miss the moment when we are together….” I walk closer to her, but she keeps stepping back.
“I hate you, Minami…. I don’t want to see your face again….” She is shaking her head as she steps back. I corner her to the wall, and she traps there. “Don’t get close to me!!!” she is screaming.
Why you beg me to be away from you? You are already in front of me, and why I can’t reach you? You know I am suffering right now by looking your sad face, also you don’t want to see me anymore, you said you hate me already. I am not sure is that true from your heart or you’re just too emotional right now.
All I know that, I don’t want to be a part, and I can’t bury my feeling toward you. I will reveal it today, now.
“Please don’t say you hate me, Atsuko. I can’t live without you……” I put my hands on the wall and our faces are just so close to each other.
“What are you going to do, Minami? Just go! Don’t get close to me, I hate you!”
“Do you hate me? Do you want me to disappear?” I look onto her teary eyes.
Atsuko, she looks away. “Just look at me….I want to see your eyes. You might be lying, but eyes can’t lie….”
“It’s obvious! I hate you, don’t need to…..” she has not finished her sentence yet and suddenly I touch her soft lips with mine. She looks shocked and pushes me hard.
“Wh…what are you doing!” I ignore it and once again I walk closer to her and kiss her roughly on lips. She hits my chest then I grab both of her hands and pin in on the wall with my hands.
“Hmph…Mi…na….mi…..s….s….top!” I don’t let her to escape, I don’t let her to push me so that the kiss will break. I keep kissing her like crazy just to express my feeling. I know it’s too sudden and I just kiss her without confessing first, she must be surprised and confused at the same time. But I don’t have choice. By hearing she said ‘she hates me’ I can’t hold myself to touch her.
“Please…..” Atsuko is crying during our kissing. She keeps fighting back and she can’t win against my strength. I can feel she is loosen it, and I know she won’t escape so I stop pinning her wrists, I hold her hands instead. Put my fingers in hers, and now we are holding each other. I hold her so tight….
I break the kiss and see forward. She is still there crying and closing her eyes. Am I wrong doing this to her??
I rub her cheek and wipe her tears… I lean a kiss on her cheek and forehead, she doesn’t react. She keeps crying. Slowly I lean a kiss on her lips this much. She doesn’t respond it….
I do it slowly, her lips taste so sweet… I know Atsuko will hate me after this, but it has happened and I can’t stop the me right now. I miss her and I want to touch her so bad.
“Please don’t hate me….” I say in the middle of it.
My kiss tastes flat… I know I am egoist doing this to her though she doesn’t want it. I guess I lost her already… I pull myself slowly, but then I am surprised as she replies my kiss. She kisses me back. I am still shocked and I just go blink…
Is it a dream? No, it’s not a dream. Atsuko is kissing me right now. The kiss feels so real. I close my eyes and try to feel it as my hands are moving to her waist. I give respond to the kiss and we are replying each other’s.
“I love you…….” Those words I can hear clearly out from her mouth. My heart starts beating as she said that during kissing. Finally we break the kiss to catch some airs.
Atsuko, she is crying again… I gently wipe her tears away…
In sob, “Minami…..I really……love you…..” she is still not seeing me. I smile.
“I love you too…..” I stroke her hair and she looks like a cute kid. I can’t leave her. “Sorry for realizing it so long….” I hug her and rest my chin on her shoulder.
“Yea…You are so stupid.” She hugs me so tight.
“You hurt me. I saw that news, I was heartbroken…”
“I am sorry… I just don’t….know what was happening. I don’t love him….”
“All people know it….”
“I will tell them the truth….”
“Eh?!” I release the hug and look at her. “….about us?”
“Of course not… I am not ready yet.” She chuckles. “I will apologize to them.”
We are pausing so long. “Sorry Minami, I didn’t tell you I was going to graduate….”
“Just why? Because of me?”
“No. I graduated because I was too busy with everything. Drama, movie, radio, photoshooting, and AKB48. I must choose one of them, and yet I chose actress. I was going to tell you, but you didn’t ever come to see me. I lost my mood to tell you already…”
“Atsuko, I am sorry….”
“It doesn’t a big matter anymore. We were not……trying to be honest to each other.”
“Yeah…..” I look at her. “…..what would you do to him?”
“I guess, I have to tell him about us.”
“Eh? You sure?”
“He is so care, kind, and too honest. I am sure he will understand. He really loves me though…”
“But not as much as my love for you…..” I pout. Atsuko pinches my cheek..
“Yeah little captain…. You are my everything….” She leans a kiss on my lips and we continue kissing each others.
Today Atsuko asks me to meet Nakamura. We want to finish it soon.
“I know this time would come….” What I heard from Nakamura’s mouth.
“Aoi-chan, what are you saying?”Atsuko asks her will-be-ex-boyfriend
He sighs and then smiles, “Yesterday 3 of your friends came to see me. They were talking about you two….”
3 of our friends? Yuko, Harunyan, and Miichan?
“According to their story, I think you two are that close, like family…..or should I say…. Like a lover?” he chuckles.
“Thanks Acchan, you are honest to me and telling me everything. I was waiting for it though….”
“Aoi-chan….I am sorry….”
“No need to say. I know that chibi could protect you more….” He smiles at me.
“Chibi? Don’t call me in that way.”
“Haha sorry, Minami-san…” he then looks at Atsuko once again. “I pray for your happiness.”
From that day, Nakamura holds a press conference once again… He apologizes to all the medias by holding the last conference. He also tells them that Atsuko and him already break up.
And I also, from now I will support Atsuko whatever she does since I love her and I want to be by her side always. I will do my best too in AKB48, and I am so grateful that I have friends like Yuko, Harunyan, and Miichan. They are so precious.
See you again on my next story 🙂